bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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