i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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