Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
