Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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