while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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