Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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