after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
