Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If I die, sorry about rent.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize