i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
