Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
