Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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