worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just sucked dick on a ferry
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
