Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize