no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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