Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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