he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Randomize