I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
