that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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