Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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