Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
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