I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
My bed smells like the plague
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize