Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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