I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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