This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
