the condom got lost in my hair
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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