Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"