I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position