Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.

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  (312): Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita. http://tfl.nu/kc15
  Replies (6) Good night (2840) Bad night (1289)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom

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  (978): Why are you at a bar in Connecticut? (617): Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom http://tfl.nu/akoi
  Replies (20) Good night (3728) Bad night (711)
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  (518): View more from New York

  i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno

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  (518): i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno http://tfl.nu/fv58
  Replies (29) Good night (647) Bad night (2959)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.

  (1-519): View more from Ontario

  You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.

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  (519): my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar. (1-519): You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make. http://tfl.nu/j6t1
  Replies (12) Good night (10365) Bad night (1443)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.

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  (732): she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it. http://tfl.nu/tlpk
  Replies (9) Good night (3828) Bad night (910)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs

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  (904): I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs http://tfl.nu/az3o
  Replies (9) Good night (1514) Bad night (3514)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.

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  (817): I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno. http://tfl.nu/gzp0
  Replies (4) Good night (2044) Bad night (1378)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.

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  (813): Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b. http://tfl.nu/ahce
  Replies (17) Good night (4263) Bad night (1906)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area

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  (508): Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area http://tfl.nu/7yxw
  Replies (3) Good night (1190) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far

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  (785): He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far http://tfl.nu/hear
  Replies (8) Good night (844) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.

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  (845): Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show. http://tfl.nu/ezu8
  Replies (2) Good night (978) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.

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  (206): I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra. http://tfl.nu/2ofq
  Replies (5) Good night (502) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.

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  (540): I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism. http://tfl.nu/6sut
  Replies (2) Good night (622) Bad night (327)
• Favorite

  (447): View more from

  Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole

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  (447): Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole http://tfl.nu/m1fc
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often

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  (513): conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often http://tfl.nu/fm0r
  Replies (1) Good night (357) Bad night (87)

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