I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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