i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
