if you like me you must not know who I am
Porn is love you can see.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize