oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize