She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
