if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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