saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sorry my hands just texted you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
