wat bout pragnant strippers??
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
