Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
