I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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