Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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