Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
