I'm drive I can fine osifer
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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