Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
