I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
it was like eating out sand paper
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Randomize
