if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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