ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
