I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
