My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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