this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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