I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
