I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
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Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
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It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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