hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
