I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
