Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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