I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
