Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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