I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
