Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
