I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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