Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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