yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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