Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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