3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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