I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
