The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
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I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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