hotel room ftw
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
